When I go to cemeteries, which I do more than most people, I generally notice two types of graves in particular – the graves of soldiers and single gravestones that are surrounded by seemingly unused plots. The latter break my heart because I know that in many cases the person died and the family bought plots, but then decided later to move on. These single graves are particularly heart-wrenching when they are the graves of children. Sometimes I wonder if descendants of the family know about these people, especially those that died very young.
Until recently, I hadn’t thought about single graves of members of my own family. Most of the cemeteries for my family have at least several members of the family buried in them. And, in a several cases, many people in the cemetery are related to me. Yet, there are family members that are the only one of the family to be buried in a cemetery.
Below are the stories of how a few members of my family came to lie alone without other family.
Grant Ashby
One of the first people that came to mind when I thought of people that weren’t buried with the rest of the family was my great-great grandfather Grant Ashby. We spent quite a bit of time one day looking for his grave near Holly, Colorado. The tiny cemetery was several miles away from town and was completely barren except for a few gravestones. Not a single tree stood to shade in the small isolated cemetery.
Grant had been born in Indiana, married in Iowa, and then settled for a bit in Bourbon County, Kansas. In 1910, he had sold out and moved to this desolate location. I don’t know why the family left eastern Kansas, where he had grown corn stalks 14 feet tall for this lonesome place. He was able to homestead 1280 acres. However, in order to meet the requirements for homesteading, Grant and his sons had to take long trips to the foot of the Rockies for wood for fence posts. Additionally, they had to till considerable land for crops. But, these weren’t the only challenges for the family. Until they dug a well, they had to haul water 25 miles from Holly. And, their closest neighbor lived five miles away with the closest doctor residing in Holly. They were pretty much on their own in the middle of nowhere.
A mere five years after they arrived in Colorado, Grant died of a stroke. With difficult living conditions and the family’s main provider gone, it wasn’t long before the family pulled up roots and moved to California.
Louisiana Mateer Badgley McCracken
Louisiana Mateer Badgley McCrackenLouisiana (my great-great grandmother) was living with Lemuel and their kids in Crawford County, Kansas when she became ill. The story, according to Dad, is that they were headed to family when she died. For many years we believed that she was probably buried along a trail somewhere. Dad thought that he heard they were headed to Peoria, Illinois. However, no tie to Peoria has been found. Since Louisiana’s oldest daughter with her first husband James Badgley lived near Quincy, Illinois, it is possible that is where they were headed.
In any case, several years ago, I discovered that she was buried at Morris Cemetery in Bates County, Missouri, northeast of where they had lived. Perhaps they had some family at this place that had helped care for Louisiana or perhaps she died in route to their final destination. In either case, she ended up being buried in this small, secluded cemetery that sits at the end of a road across from the only house on the road. No other family members are known to have been buried there.
After Louisiana’s death, Lemuel remained in Bates County. In 1881, three months shy of two years after Louisiana’s death, Lemuel remarried to Melissa Eviline Donley. Lemuel and Eviline stayed in the area for about ten years before moving to Chautauqua County, Kansas.
Lemuel McCracken
As Lemuel (my great-great grandfather) and this third wife Melissa (Eviline) Donley aged, they eventually moved back to Crawford County, settling with or near Lemuel’s son Andrew. About a month before Lemuel died, he was sent to the state hospital in Osawatomie, as he had become difficult to handle. I don’t know exactly what that meant. It could be that he had dementia, Parkinsons, or a host of other issues. Unfortunately, the probate court could not find any records associated with his case.
When Lemuel died, he was buried at the cemetery at the institution. Not only is he buried without family, the gravestones in this cemetery look so mundane. Just row after row of ugly, plain gravestones. They don’t even have names on them, only numbers. So sad. And, it is the eeriest cemetery I have ever encountered.
Eviline was buried in Texas near one of her children.
John Van Allen
My husband’s great-great grandfather John Van Allen died at Vicksburg while serving in the Civil War. He was with Company B, Wisconsin 33rd Infantry Regiment when he became ill. He is buried at Vicksburg National Military Park, hundreds of miles from Wisconsin, where his family lived.
Bonus Story: Arden Johansen
Arden was not related to our families. He was a friend of my Uncle Dewey. He died a month before his 16th birthday. After his family left the area, the McCracken family adopted him in a way. They always make sure he has flowers on his grave when they put flowers on the graves of family members. This task has passed from Dewey and his wife to Mom and Dad to our generation.