Some families have gatherings weekly or monthly, others for major holidays, and others never get together at all. When it comes to Joseph Andrew and Nellie (Peelle) McCracken’s family, any time two or more family members get together, it isn’t just a family gathering, it is a family reunion.
Holidays
My McCracken grandparents had 11 children. Ten grew to adulthood and when I was born all were living except my Uncle Howard who was MIA in WWII. By the time, my dad and his siblings stopped having kids, Joe and Nellie had 18 grandkids. Fortunately, they didn’t have as many kids as their parents or nobody in the family would have had a house large enough for the entire clan.
Christmas & Thanksgiving
In those growing up days, the family usually got together on or around Christmas or Thanksgiving. We had turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, gravy, rolls, lots of Jello salads, pies, mac & cheese, multiple items with cranberries, veggies, and more. At Christmas, each generation drew names and everybody got grandma presents. Once you add in spouses, the number of presents under the tree got quite large.
We also gathered for the 4th of July. It would start off with tons of food, usually out on a hay-rack. Lots of picnic food. Potato salad may have been the biggest favorite. Home grown watermelon and soda pop that had been sitting in a tub of ice all day were probably my favorite things.
4th of July
Firecrackers went off all day and in the evenings some of the folks stayed around for night-works. They would go on for what seemed like an eternity as there were so many. Such was the display that when we held the get-together at Dewey and Jackie’s (the Homeplace), people would stop along Highway 7 and watch.
After Grandma passed and the next generation’s kids got grown up, the holiday celebrations changed. Christmas and Thanksgiving gatherings shrunk as more families had their own celebrations and made their own traditions. Larger family gatherings did occur from time to time, but usually in the summer or tied to some other occasion (e.g. Dee’s 80th birthday).
Coincidental Meetings
Now, a formal planned gathering was not required for a family reunion to occur. Almost every time we went to Whitesides to get groceries, a mini-reunion would occur with Ester, Stan, or Steve, who worked there for many years. Of course, seeing other relatives was always a possibility.
These days those family meetings seem to generally take place at Walmart, but they bring just as much chatter as the ones of old. However, one of the most interesting ones occurred when Rod and I saw Steve and Liz at QuikTrip in Overland Park – when we were still living in Denver. The people there clearly weren’t accustomed to McCracken mini-reunions. I think there were a few looks about these strange people that were hugging, talking, and laughing.
Funerals
McCrackens took the approach that when there was a death in the family and you were all together, you might as well enjoy a good visit. Fun and laughter were a part of the gathering. They didn’t believe in sitting around and being sad. As a Peelle, I am not sure Grandma approved of the McCracken philosophy on funerals. It was clearly a different approach than that of some of the in-laws’ families.
Surgery
When Dad had his septuple bypass about a month before he turned 85, it was quite a risky operation. Dad wanted to talk to Sky before the surgery (Sky and Vance were as close as he could get to talking to brother Don). Sky decided that instead of talking on the phone, he needed to make the trip from Kentucky to see Dad.
Waiting Room Demeanor
Well, the day of surgery, Cindy, Steve, Sky, Ann, and I were all there. Dad’s surgery lasted for many hours and we were waiting in the “Waiting Room,” which wasn’t really a room at all. St. John’s Regional Medical Center in Joplin had been destroyed in the huge EF-5 tornado on Sunday May 22, 2011. Instead of a several story hospital, Dad was having surgery in a temporary hospital made of modules that were put together (there was one place you could see up above the ceiling and see the chains holding things together).
The surgical area was a large area surrounded by hallways. The main hallway connecting to the patient rooms just happened to also be the surgery waiting area. So, the family was there gabbing away, laughing, and telling stories. At one point, one of the volunteers came over and offered to get us a room to hang out in. We responded that were fine. I think that was to her dismay as I think she didn’t think we had the proper demeanor for people who had a family member undergoing a serious surgery. But, Dad wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He wouldn’t have wanted us to waste that time being serious and solemn. Family was together and he believed you should enjoy it when you got the opportunity.
Side Story
Yes, I remember where I was at the time of the Joplin tornado. We were in Lawrence at Bigg’s BBQ on Iowa Street having a post-KU graduation dinner. Sis got a call from Dad who was at home. That was really alarming because he didn’t just call for no reason. Well, he called to tell us about the tornado.
When we drove through Joplin the following year, you could see the tornado track. And, a year later there still were areas that looked like they had been bombed.
I also remember how emotional the people in Joplin still were nearly two years later while Dad was in the hospital. The tornado was mentioned more than one time, probably because at the time of Dad’s subsequent surgery tornado warnings went off one night. And, I could see tears in multiple people’s eyes just at the mention of the tornado.
Planning
Once, they said that the surgery appeared to be successful, the cousins started planning a big bash for his 90th birthday. There was a debate about 90th or 95th, but they decided not to push their luck. Ninety was a good choice, as he made 90, but not 95).
Interjecting Oneself
After the surgery we – as in all of us – talked to the doctor, who I think was a bit shocked to see a room full of people. Afterward, we walked into the hallway and were preparing to go our separate ways and some of us were staying and others were heading home. As is typical the good-bye took some time because the conversation continued. At some point, Sky began to tell a story. I don’t remember the topic, but a total stranger overheard our discussion and walked up stating, “Hold on a minute, I want to hear this!”
So, he joined the group just like he was one of the family. Sky told the story and we eventually went our separate ways.
90th Birthday
Our last big family reunion was Dad’s 90th birthday party. It was a family reunion plus neighbors and friends. It had been awhile and everyone was excited to get together for a reason that didn’t include someone dying. Although we thought it might be too much for him, Dad really seemed to enjoy the day. And, he got a special request to sing “Randolph the Flat-Nosed Reindeer” because one of his nieces wanted her daughter and granddaughter to hear the song.. He obliged. And, those who heard him, loved it.
Changing Gatherings
Four years later when Dad passed at 94 years, 4 months, and 3 days, change occurred again as he was the last of Nellie and Joe’s children. So, the big formal family gatherings are likely to be few and far between as the glue that held the grandkids together has faded. Besides, all of the grandkids are getting older, five of them have already left this earthly plane, and many of the others have their own kids and grandkids. Guess we will need to hang out at Walmart if we want to see family.
Photograph of Nellie, Joe, and Children: Photographed by Rennett’s Studio. Copyright purchased from the studio by L. Thomson.